literature

The Worst Dilemma

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Literature Text

He could feel everything boiling up inside of him. All the feelings. Every word he'd never get to say. The gifts he'd would never buy and would never give. The kisses and hugs he'd never get to feel. The three little words he'd never hear. The smile he would never again be able to see. And with each thing he counted that he'd never, he felt himself boil over. Councilor Anderson's voice echoing in his head;

"Commander Shepard is dead. She was spaced less than seventeen hours ago. The surviving crew is on their way to Huerta Memorial."

"Another," Garrus slurred, beating his glass on the bar.

Another drink slid his direction. He couldn't remember what he'd ordered, but it was strong, and had a terrible flavor that lingered.

He threw it back before getting up and leaving.

Garrus had never really been a drinking sort. At least not to the point he'd reached. "Funerals," he muttered to himself, sliding his arms into his coat. He shook his head, remembering the funeral that had taken place only hours ago.

After hearing so many people talk about her in such formal way, he was done. He knew Shepard, and ten minute long speeches centered on all her accomplishments was not how she would've wanted that to go. That's why when it was his turn, he steered as far away from her accomplishments as he possibly could.

"Shepard was beautiful, and smart, and charismatic. She was kind and compassionate. She knew how to laugh and to cry and remain strong even when the strongest of us couldn't. I could relay a dozen and a half times she should've lost hope, but didn't. Shepard was one of a kind. And there won't be another person like her."

His mandibles flicked into a turian smirk. You're good, Vakarian. So good. She'd be proud. "Or she'd punch you for being such a kiss ass," he said, leaving the bar and heading for the ship docks.

Now you're talking to yourself, Vakarian. Out loud. Everyone does it sometimes, but you just talked to yourself out loud. And that's bad.

He shook his head. How much had he drank? He tried to focus simply on the sound of his footsteps, echoing the noise in his mind.

Just Tak, Tak. Tak Tak Tak. Tak, Tak. Tak Tak Tak. Tak, Tak. Tak Tak Tak. Tak, Tak. Tak Tak Tak. Over and over in his mind.

Somehow the galactic news fluttered into his mind, drowning out his rhythmic steps. "A ship exporting eezo from Omega was raided by the Blood Pack earlier this week. This is the third raid in the last two months. People are crying out for justice, but their voices continue to go unheard."

No, Vakarian. Absolutely not. No. Bad idea. You're going to get yourself killed. Vigilantes always die tragic, painful, gory deaths and are buried in unmarked graves somewhere near where they died. No.

"It's a good chance to do good work again. Like with Shepard. And if I die trying to make the galaxy a safer place. Well, I'm going to die like the woman I love, and what a better death than that?" with his words, the voice inside his head was sated.

"I'd like to book transport to Omega," he said, stepping up to the front desk.

The human female looked Garrus up and down. "You don't wanna go to Omega. Nothing good happens there."

He shrugged. "I plan to fix that."

The woman snorted, "Alright. Be here in two days at 0800. You're one brave turian, I've gotta say. Or you're just stupid."

"Thank you," he replied, giving her a turian smile and walking off.

Although he was still feeling the effects of the days events, he felt better. He walked with renewed purpose. Well, a little more like stumbled, but he still felt better.

Shepard would be proud, the voice in his mind said, making the heartbroken, drunk turian feel ignorantly blissful.
It seems I've begun a series.
I felt like Garrus drowning his sorrows by getting a bit drunk after Shepard's funeral would lead to him talking to himself and eventually to what led him to be Archangel.
Oh, the nonsense of I.
Well, anyway. Garrus, Shepard, and all that other good stuff is all Bioware's, as I continue to forget to mention. The story is mine, though.

Edit: This is Part of an Unfinished Series.
Part 1: [link]
Part 2: [link]
Part 3: You are Here.
Part 4: [link]
© 2012 - 2024 LilyAlisandra
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AuraLady's avatar
awwwwww **sniff** I knew he cared... side note: why didn't they let Shepard and Wrex hug in 2??? Anyone could tell there was a hug... it's like leaning for a kiss, changing mind and shaking hands instead. TOTAL disappointment!